


naked, in your arms

by dracosbadfaith



Series: bury my insecurities, honey [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Body Image, Delilah is an OFC, Established Relationship, F/M, Harry Potter is a good husband, Insecurity, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, POV First Person, POV Original Female Character, Ron Weasley is a Good Friend, Unconditional Love, insecure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:47:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21829189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dracosbadfaith/pseuds/dracosbadfaith
Summary: Harry and Delilah are newly weds, and are loving every moment together, well, for the most part. Delilah has some internalized insecurities that Harry is unaware of. She tries to surpass them to live her life with a normal, healthy relationship that she adores.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Original Female Character(s)
Series: bury my insecurities, honey [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1662355
Kudos: 36





	naked, in your arms

“Why don’t you get undressed in front of me?” Harry asks apropos to nothing one afternoon. I freeze, the question taking me off guard.

“I don’t know what you mean.” I respond. I know what he means. I just didn’t expect him to catch on, and so quickly too.

It had been three weeks since our wedding. It was a magical event that will always hold such a special part of us it’s memories. I loved it, and I love him. Very much so. Our relationship has been a miraculous thing since we first started dating a little over a year ago. It was full of love and stability since the beginning, and the fact that I could rely so heavily on him in my worst moments, made me say yes to the question that landed us at the altar. 

We’ve never had issues, or problems or fights with each other, which is such a blessing for both of us, seeing as we both have tempers that normally escalate with others. However, this question had an undertone of intensity that we weren’t familiar with. I didn’t like it at all. We are preparing to go out for a night with some friends for dinner, so when he asked the question as I return from the bathroom, dressed and ready, it hit me with a tinge of guilt. 

“You know, since the wedding…” he trails off, fixing his wrist cuffs.

“Nothings changed since the wedding, darling,” I assure him as I walk over and fix his collar with a smile. “I still love you.” I kiss his cheek.

“Oh, that's reassuring.” he laughs. 

“Hurry up, we have to go soon!” I call out as I make my way to go downstairs. 

He’s done in a few minutes and we leave to go meet up with our friends. 

\--

“Harry, mate, what’s new?” Ron asks, patting Harry’s shoulder as he sits next to his best friend. 

“Oh, you know, the boss is making me work the next week. I get Christmas week off, but I’d appreciate some double time, you know? We’ve got gifts to get and things to do, it’ll be nice to have something extra, you know?”

“I hear ya, mate. They’re money hungry thieves, I tell ya.” Ron jokes.

They laugh and take a few moments to get settled into their drinks. 

Harry’s watching me with an intensity so strong, I can feel it pierce my skin where I sit next to Hermione and Luna across the table. 

“So, how’s the married life treating you?” Ron asks, taking another sip of his beer.

“Good, yeah, it’s great, you know? It’s really nice to have someone to come home to at night, and you know - she’s just, she’s great.” He says sincerely. I smile, pretending to listen to the girls. 

“Ugh, enough with the sap!” Ron laughs. “I’m really happy for ya, mate. It really is great to have ‘em.” He says fondly, watching an unaware Hermione. 

Harry’s gears turn for a moment, his gaze locked onto the side of my face, before he asks Ron.

“Does Hermione ever, you know-” Harry stops as he’s interrupted. 

“Yes. All the time.” Ron deadpans. 

“Git.” Harry grins, Ron laughs beside him. “No, does she ever avoid changing in front of you?” He says, somewhat shy.

Ron regards his question for a moment. “No, can’t say she does. I mean, she probably has, but I’ve never noticed it as a consistent thing. Why?”

“No reason. Just a question.” Harry says, looking down to fiddle with his fingers.

“So now you want to know about my wife’s dressing habits, eh mate?” Ron jokes. Harry grins but shakes his head. “Eh, I’m just playing with you. But seriously, why?”

“I just, I don’t know. I kind of noticed it with Del, but I could just be overthinking. I’ve never exactly paid attention to this kind of stuff with anyone else, so it could be totally normal and I’m just obtuse.” Harry finishes with a wary chuckle.

“Mmm yeah, probably. Women have a way of doing things that I’ll never understand.” Ron says. “But hey, did you hear about the Canons big win the other night? Heard that it might actually take them to the playoffs…”

\--

I don’t know how I’m going to get around Harry tonight. He already caught onto me, if I try it he’ll probably say something again. I decide to play it cool, relaxing on the couch with him as soon as we get back from dinner. Less than ten minutes into watching the telly, I feel his hand rest on my thigh farthest from him. I find it comforting, but not in a sexual way, and I have no issues with that. It’s a regular thing for him to do, whether he realizes he does it or not. 

Although, it seems like this time it’s not like the usual times. I feel it start to exert more pressure, heavier than just a relaxed hand, and soon it starts sliding up and up. I continue to remain unfazed. He’s done this once before, but before it escalated to anything more than a gentle rub, I suddenly stood up and went to the bathroom, leaving his hand to return to his own lap when I got back.

This time however, I want to see how far he’ll go before he questions himself. He is my husband, after all. 

He’s moved it to the other thigh, gripping slightly and rubbing more firmly. I resist the action to reach out and grab it. He continues his little act, before he turns to me, stares for a few seconds, then leans in and kisses my neck softly. I smile at the feeling. Both his hands move now, one to grab my waist and the other to hold my neck, to turn my face so he can kiss me properly. 

I lean back and let him kiss me, never giving him this much freedom to touch me.

Oh yeah, I’m a virgin. He knows this, all too well, in fact. 

He kisses me until I’m laying back on the couch, him over top of me, caressing my neck and hip. My breath hitches and I suck everything in as far as I possibly can. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers, pulling back slightly to see my red lips and flushed cheeks. “I’m so glad I married you.” He smiles. 

I forcibly smile back. ‘Me too,” I whisper. He continues to kiss me, and while I’m trying to enjoy it, my hands don’t stray from his face, neck and back. 

His hands start to stray, however, and I stop breathing, hoping that he doesn’t feel too much. He pulls back again and asks in a whisper, “Is this ok?” 

No, but I can’t bring myself to tell him that. I nod.

His hands move further down, gripping me harder and rubbing over me more.

“Is this?” he asks, quiter. 

I lick my lips and breathe shallow breaths. 

The temptation to throw him off and run and hide my body from him is so strong. To think that this is the farthest we’ve gone together is ridiculous to me, but I can never get over the mental anguish that comes with insecurities, whenever we’re together. 

He must’ve seen the hesitancy in my face because he pulls back until he’s sitting up, helping me to do the same. 

“Sorry, I got a little carried away,” he says.

“It’s ok.” I whisper, smiling slightly.

“We should go to bed, it’s pretty late.” He says, not looking at me. 

I nod. “Ok,” He helps me up and we make our way to our bedroom. 

He goes into the bathroom as I take off my jewelry. I let out a shuddering breath. I hear the shower start and I undress, knowing that he’ll understand. 

I’m in bed by the time he comes out, damp and fresh-smelling. I go into the bathroom to wash up. He’s asleep by the time I come out.

\--

I wake up with his arm over me, his back pressed into mine. 

Well, that’s not the only thing pressed into me.

I exhale deeply, inhale, and bite my lip to keep from moaning. I feel the heat in my belly grow, and wish for once in my life that I didn’t hate myself so... Man, how wonderful it would be to make love to my husband. 

Tears fill my eyes at the pain that builds in my chest. I cover my mouth with my hand to prevent the sobs from breaking free. I curl into myself, pulling away from his warm embrace.

After a few minutes of silent crying, I get up and go to the bathroom to shower. The water always helped calm me. Not today, though. I continue to cry, letting the sobs I couldn’t hold back anymore, out, hoping to god that the sound of the water will drown them out. 

I finally stop before I finish my shower. Harry’s quite the heavy sleeper, so I’m not worried about waking him, that much.

After dressing, applying some cream, and tying up my wet hair, I open the door, planning to go make some breakfast before Harry awoke - to find him in the doorway, his normal charming smile replaced with a grim line, and his brow furrowed. 

I gasp, jumping back a bit. I clutch my chest, trying to calm my heart.

“Harry, honey, you scared me.” I chuckle. He doesn’t reciprocate the laugh.

He stands there, watching me for a full minute, before he says “What happened?”

I stutter for a minute, still surprised and not at all prepared. 

“What do you mean?” I ask with a tilt of my head. 

“I heard you crying.” He says, his lips turning down in a frown. 

“Oh, yeah, I got my period this morning and bled through my new panties I bought.” I lie easily, adding on a slight pout to sell it. 

He stands and considers my answer for a minute. “Are they ruined?” 

I giggle internally at his answer, how concerned he always is for me. 

“Yeah, they’ll be alright. I’m just upset because they were new.” 

“Oh, alright then.” He continues to stand awkwardly in the doorway, so I take the opportunity to bring up breakfast. 

“Would you like eggs and bacon or pancakes?” I smile, knowing those are both his favourites. 

His lips lift up in a small side smile and my heart squeezes at the sight. 

“Both,” he says with a chuckle. 

“I can do both.” I smile and lean up to kiss him. He accepts it happily, and wraps his arms around my waist. 

We break apart and make our way to the kitchen. 

—

The rest of the day goes by smoothly, and we soon find our way on the couch again in the evening, catching up on the news from the day. 

We laugh and converse about the various topics that are covered throughout the evening, and I pleasantly enjoy our time together. 

At one point though, he looks over at me and I can feel his intense gaze on the side of my face. I turn to look at him, smiling. He smiles back and kisses me. I return the pressure, letting him know that I really do appreciate him and his company. 

The kiss intensifies from there and we find ourselves just like the night before, with him over top of me and hands resting gently on my sides. 

I’m prepared once again to stop him if it goes too far, but before I need to, he pulls off of me and looks down, seriously. 

“We need to talk.”

My heart stops and I feel my eyes water slightly. 

“Yeah, sure. Is everything ok?” I ask, sitting up as well. 

“I feel like I should be asking you that.” He says, looking deeply into my eyes. 

So there’s another thing he caught onto. 

“Um, yeah, everything’s fine. Why?”

He sighs softly and bites his cheek. An anxiety thing he does. 

“I’ve just noticed, recently, that you don’t want me touching you very much. I know that you wanted to wait until we got married, and you know I didn’t mind that, but… we’re married now. And you still don’t want me touching you. Is it… is it me? Do I hurt you or-do you not like when I-” 

I stop his rambling by hugging him because I didn’t know what else to do. 

“Absolutely not. It truly has nothing to do with you. And I know that I said we’d wait, and I’m glad that we have… but- I, I don't really feel like it’s time yet. I know that doesn’t make sense because you’re probably thinking ‘when will it be?’ and I understand that you want to. It’s not exactly fair to you-”

“I don’t care if it’s fair or not, we can and will only do things if we both want to. There is no debate. I know we also haven’t talked about it very much yet, but I just wanted to hear how you were feeling about it.”

I feel the pain in my chest again for Harry, because boy, does he deserve the whole world. I smile up at him though and hug him once more. 

“I appreciate everything that you do, Harry, but I just need a little more time.”

He nods vigorously. “Yeah, yeah, I totally understand. Don’t worry about it, ok? I just wanted to talk.” He finishes with what must have been a reassuring smile and a kiss.

I smile back up at him and cuddle into his side once more as we resume the tv. I feel him, tense beside me, and I sigh at myself. 

—

Harry stays true to his word and doesn’t bring it up again. In fact, he doesn’t try anything, barely touching me, really giving me my space over the next week. The only touching we have is when we cuddle on the couch, although his hands stay strictly thrown over my shoulder, no straying hands to my thighs or waist. We still kiss everyday and hug, and occasionally hold hands. He will curl up beside me in bed at night, and gently lay a hand on my cheek when he stares deeply into my eyes, how he likes to do on a regular basis. 

Overall, he’s respecting my space and not invading it which is quite pleasant, but I can tell it’s wearing on him. His smiles seem more strained and he spends less time around me when he’s home. I’ve woken up every morning to his erection pressing into my back, but he slips out of bed before I’m able to tell him a good morning.

He’s also not brought up the fact that I don’t undress in front of him, which is nice, because then I don’t feel like I’m going to get in trouble because of it, but I don’t miss the way he looks at me when I exit out of the bathroom when I’m done. 

I don’t know if he knows that I’m aware of his struggling, but I don’t have the courage to talk to him about it. I enjoy the space he gives, but sometimes it gets a little lonely. 

I did marry him for a reason, because I love him and his company, but it’s been pretty lonely around me lately. 

—

When Harry’s at work throughout most of the day, I clean, cook and just relax at home for the majority of the time. I might go out on a walk, or to the shops, especially when Hermione or Luna has time off to go out with me. 

Aside from that though, when alone at home all day, I need to find things to occupy myself with. 

Although I am very hesitant around Harry when it comes to anything remotely intimate, as a grown woman, I still have my own needs. 

And especially when Harry’s not home for me to fuss over, I find time to fill those needs as need be. 

About once every day or so, especially on the days I’m less busy with my chores, or find it a struggle to occupy myself with something, I’ll head to the bedroom to take care of my biggest need. 

I strip to my undergarments and throw on a sheer white, lacy kimono that would be better used as a tablecloth than any valuable piece of clothing. Harry has never seen it, let alone seen me in it. Still, it’s cool on my skin, the delicate blues and pinks of the threads compliment my complexion, and it makes me feel sexy. 

I lay on the bed and start to feel the smooth skin on my chest, over my bra, under my bra, then pinching my nipples slightly. I feel all over my body, relishing in the feel of the touch. My hands eventually make it into my panties and I rub myself softly at first, spreading my wetness all over and slicking up the area. When I can’t handle the delicacy anymore, I rub more vigorously, chasing my orgasms that I felt building since I lay down.

As a part of my everyday daily routine, I find it to be a soothing practice that I really enjoy. It satisfies my physical need without rushing into anything with Harry. 

I rub faster, finger deeper, and pinch harder as I feel my orgasm build and build, the end coming close. 

When I help myself, I always do it around midday, hours before Harry is due home. As soon as I’m done, I will start on dinner so it’s ready for when he comes home.

Today, I miscalculated it seemed, because as I’m moaning for my upcoming completion, I look in the doorway to find him standing in it, mouth open and eyes blown wide. 

My hands leave myself in an instant, as disappointing as it is, and I throw myself up onto my elbows to look at him, shock and fear all over my face. 

“Oh my god,” He exclaimed, before he quickly shuts the door and rushes down the stairs. 

I hear him cursing I’m his way down the hall and into his study where the door slams shut. 

I force air into my lungs, feeling the panic slightly dissipate. I lie back down and try my best to calm myself. “It's fine, it’s just Harry. It’s just Harry.” I keep whispering to myself, trying to imagine his smile and the way he sleeps, his softest moments I have memories of, and not the embarrassed man I just witnessed. 

It’s maybe 20 minutes before I convince myself to leave the bedroom and go find what has happened to my husband. 

I exchange my slutty kimono for my silk, long bathrobe (one Harry has seen me in before), I fix my hair to fall nicely across my shoulders, and I clean my face up with a small amount of concealer and mascara, giving myself a more put-together look, in hopes that I don’t look half dead and scare Harry even more. 

I slowly walk down to the study and knock softly on the door. Harry had gone quiet after 10 minutes after he retreated to his study. I wanted to make sure he was still alive. 

“Harry?” I call softly. 

“Come in.” He says gruffly. 

I open the door slowly and slip inside. He’s sitting at his desk, hunched over some papers and looking extremely focused. 

“Hi, honey.” I whisper, because I have suddenly lost my voice. 

“Hi,” he says after a long moment. He hasn’t looked up at me. 

I didn’t exactly plan on what I was going to say so the following silence is deafening. He stopped writing but his gaze never left his desk. 

“Um..” I started but he interrupted. 

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t-I didn't knock. I didn’t know if you were home, and I just wanted to see if you were ok, I-I should’ve called out or knocked but-”

“Harry, no, stop. I don’t expect you to knock on your own bedroom door. It’s alright, seriously.” I say, genuinely. “I’m not upset.” I say, trying for a convincing smile. 

He still won’t look up at me. “No, it’s not, and it’s not fair to you and I shouldn’t have, I-I’m so sorry Delilah,” his internal anguish is eating at him so I do something I didn’t expect. 

I round the desk, pull him away from it and straddle his lap. I grab his face and kiss him so ferociously, I almost squish our lips through our teeth. 

When I pull away, his eyes are glassy and he looks like he just committed a thousand crimes. 

“Harry Potter, look at me.” I order softly. He does so. “I’m fine.” I whisper, with a smile. “I’m alright.” 

“No-” he begins, trying to pull his face out of my grip. I kiss him again and don’t let him go. 

“You did nothing wrong. I’m fine. It’s ok. I’m not upset.” I continue to whisper words of encouragement. 

He shakes his head. 

I kiss him again and repeat “I’m ok, I’m not upset. Everything’s ok.” 

He looks resigned but doesn’t disagree. I kiss him again anyways. 

“I really didn’t mean to.” He whispers. I shake my head. 

“It’s ok. I’m not upset, I don’t mind it. Seriously.”

He looks up at me then. 

“What do you mean..”

Shit. I don’t exactly mean to say that. “I-I didn't mind it, really. You’re my husband, Harry. You haven’t touched me in a week.”

“I thought it made you uncomfortable.”

“It did, but seeing you, when I was like that...for a split second, I almost came.” I whisper, putting our foreheads together. 

He groans and rocks up against me. “Fuck, you were so beautiful.” 

“How long had you seen me for?”

He thinks about it for a second. “Maybe thirty seconds? It didn’t register what I was seeing.”

I giggle a little at that. I may be very insecure and conscious of my body, but it’s so clear how much Harry loves me and wants me. I can tell it’s been hell for him since we’ve last talked about this. I want to give him a little more of me, so that when we make out on the couch, he doesn’t have to ask if he can continue petting me. 

“But, oh my god, you were - mmmm - fucking  
gorgeous.” He says, tightening his hold on my waist and burying his face into my neck. 

I hold the back of his head and tilt my head back for him to have easier access. He starts suckling lightly on the skin there, and needs my ass in his palm. 

I gasp, whispering a breathy “baby,” into the air. He growls and tightens his hold on me. I’m absolutely drawn to this. I really appreciate his sexual and intimate nature, even if I never partake in any of his advances. 

“I want you so badly,” he says to me. 

I whimper loudly and grind upon his lap. 

“How is this, is it ok?”

“Yes, yes!” I exclaim. “It’s better than ok. It’s great.”

He continues suckling on my neck before I have another idea. 

I quickly pull away from him, but before he can register what happened, I’m undoing the robes’ tie and pulling it down my shoulders to expose my chest and bra-clad boobs. 

He stares for a moment before I whisper “take it off.” He complies easily, unhooking the material and stripping it from my small breasts. He immediately bends down and suckles one into his mouth. I moan loudly and caress his head once more. 

He marks my neck, chest, breasts, just about anywhere he can reach that’s above my torso. I don’t move to undress further and he doesn’t pressure me to. He’s never seen me this naked and I know he’s taking it all in right now. 

“I’m so lucky to have you.” He says, kissing me full on the lips in between words. 

I smile wholeheartedly. I’m glad I could give him this much. It was more than I ever thought I’d be able to. He seems genuinely very happy, and I couldn’t feel more loved right now. 

“I am too.” I say as I caress his hair and cheek. 

He licks his lips and grinds up, testingly. I gasp again, biting my bottom lip as he does it again. And again. And again. I can tell he’s trying to get off, so I lean forward and whisper praises in his ear as he grinds up into me. It takes less than a minute for him to come, but I can tell it satisfied his need. 

We hold each other for a little while longer, whispering and laughing quietly between the two of us, living happily and lovingly in this moment. A first of many.

**Author's Note:**

> This series is about an OFC named Delilah who has insecurities that have surfaced since marrying Harry. As she tries to navigate the new development in their relationship, she has to accept the help Harry offers her in trying to help her through her issues.   
> I chose Harry Potter as the husband in this series, mainly because I love his tendency for obliviousness, but also his resolute kindness and caring attitude towards those he loves. Also Hermione and Ron are staples for a good HP fic. Ginny didn't seem like the right character for the female spot, also I don't like her character as a whole in the original franchise. 
> 
> I relate very closely to the leading female role, Delilah, as her actions are based on how I believe I would react in her situations. I hold a very close connection to her character, she's important to me and helps me live out my coping mechanisms.   
> I hope you enjoy my mess of emotions.


End file.
